NaNoWriMo is on

So don’t expect some updates for some time. I’ll redo them at a later date.

I would post the stuff I’m writing here, but at the moment it’s rubbish. Will need some serious polishing first.

First excerpt up @ http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/102655

…coffee pwns tea.

1) Even though coffee has been poisoned by the decaffeinated idea, it doesn’t have silly little varieties like camomile and foot cheese. Tea seems to have all of these.
2) Are there any tea shops sprouting up, or is it Starbucks?
3) Tea has to be drank with cowjuice or lemon, coffee just tastes good black.
4) Coffee is faster to make and doesn’t require a silly ceremony.
5) Pierce that foil lid. Take a sniff. That’s heaven.

…Dave is such an awesome TV Channel.

1) Programmes : Mock The Week, Top Gear, QI, Spaced
2) The +1 channel is Dave ja vue, which is an excellent pun.
3) Political Correctness? Nah.
4) They revived Red Dwarf, even if it wasn’t quite as good as it could have been.
5) Of the 200 channels I have available, Dave is the only one to have more than 3 programmes I choose to watch. Since UK Gold has gone, anyway.

…the Apple Mouse fails badly.

Referencing this little piece of kit:

1) So, whenever you move it, it recognises a press: Which is useless if your hand moves as …your hand moves.
2) Button mouses actually had feedback recognition. If it does go wrong, how can you tell?
3) Apple is quite well known for its one button mouses. How does a ten button mouse even fit into that idea?
4) A good Microsoft mouse: £20. A good Apple Mouse: $69
5) It’s included with every new Mac. So, like Vista before it, you HAVE to buy it, even if you don’t want it.

…NaNoWriMo is a good thing.

1) It stops you missing deadlines, like has become frequently apparent.
2) It tests your limits. 1667 words a day is actually a lot harder than it sounds.
3) You’re in good company.
4) You get a nice 50,000 words at the end of it to edit.
5) It does, however, have forums, so they’re to be avoided.

If you’re interested, my name on there is Reptyle.

…you should see Zombieland

1) Special mystery guest star.
2) It’s got zombies in it.
3) Zombie Kill of the Week. Wile.E would be proud.
4) The concept of people actually enjoying the apocalypse.
5) Finally someone realises how bloody strange those titles appearing on screen are, and does something with them.

…people get annoyed about TF2

1) Thou shalt count how many spies and snipers are on thine team. If it is more than one, thou shalt not choose spy or sniper, thou shalt choose medic.

2) If thine team requires classes to pass through the eye of a needle, thou shalt take on the burden of a Heavy, Demoman or a Pyro. Thou shalt not use it as an excuse to go Sniper or Spy.

3) Thou shalt understand that Spies, Scouts or Snipers take the teleporter only when it is empty and at a higher level.

4) Thou shalt NOT take the 200 metal boxes from under the nose of an Engineer, especially if you’re a Demoman; or Pyro, that has fired off one small burst on the way to the front line.

5) Thou shalt Spycheck.

…Marge Simpson nude in Playboy is a bad idea.

Citing this little article:
1) Playboy’s subscription has already dropped a million despite doing the earlier shoot on computer game characters like Bloodrayne.
2) Even with her totally naked (yet provocative), there’s going to be very little that can be done to her body that Boris Vallejo didn’t do 30 odd years ago.
3) And given the Simpsons is 20 years old…that makes Marge – what, 60?
4) The fans are already baying for Lois Griffin next. Isn’t the idea of wanting a cartoon character that much disturbing to anyone? I mean, I like Chun Li but…
5) C’mon. If you really want that sort of thing type “Nude Simpsons” into Google Images.

…I’m off on a road trip.

1) Even home gets dull at times.
2) Given that Xmas is coming up, a holiday will be good for my imagination.
3) And my temper.
4) Despite not going to Ireland, Derby will do.
5) Tuesday’s update will be late, but this time it’s for a reason.

…Happy Birthday really isn’t. In both ways.

1) It makes you miss posts by being drunk. (Sorry!)
2) Even with the rubbish calendar we’ve got; I was born at 2am but I’m supposedly meant to start celebrating at 12am. If you were born at 11pm, when do you start/stop celebrating?
3) If it’s the day, then surely you’re celebrating the anniversary of your birth, rather than the start of your birth.
4) If it’s the time of your birth, then most of the people here won’t even know that.
5) With every other celebration, you celebrate the anniversary of that date…apart from Easter, which is the Sunday after something…grief, this is complicated even without a hangover. Perhaps I should just stop thinking on it and toast to another year. I’ve always got one last one before life starts. (40)